Dear Women Writers, whether you own the title or not,
So, the literary web-buzz is atwittering about women not submitting as much as men, thus the disparity in male/female authorship. True? Who knows, but be sure the literary journal world will be letting us know….. and we are left to wonder, if there is a significant difference in the numbers of female writer submits vs. male, why is that? Could it be we’re a bunch of chickens??? 
I’ve written before that I used to fear submitting. In fact, here’s what it took to shake me out of that fear:
“But, then life taught me to banish the fear of rejections.
Many of you know I had cancer in 2008. There’s nothing quite like hearing your doctor say, ‘I’m sorry to have to tell you, you have breast cancer,’ to shake up everything you’ve ever thought about fear. Cancer is a word that deserves some of the fear that accompanies it. Rejection is not. Even though you may think rejections will kill you, they won’t. They only have whatever power you give them. Now when I get them, I seize the opportunity to either rework the piece, or, if I still believe it’s publishable but hasn’t yet found a home, I send it off to someone else.”
And, sad to say, I know many female writer friends who stay stuck in that fear and never move on. Are you one of them? Would you please, please think about rejections as necessary steps in the road to publication? They’re NOT personal attacks — they’re NOT a condemnation of your ability or your work — they’re NOT a DEATH SENTENCE!!! GET OVER IT.
Work on a list, if you must — here, I’ll start it for you:
Getting Rejected is Better than…..
***getting a crappy diagnosis (oh, say, cancer)
***not having tried. (true, trite, but true)
***peeling a bandaid off a blister.
***waking up to 20 below windchills outside.
***that repetitive nightmare about not showing up for a class in college and losing your degree.
How about you? What do you think getting rejected is better than????
Hope you’ll get off the Fear Block and onto the Submission Train.
With only good wishes,
The Submit-It Nag
30 Comments
That’s an interesting claim – but it doesn’t surprise me. I know a lot of women who have a fear of rejection in so many aspects of their lives. It’s depressing.
I will do my best to get over my own rejection fears too! Hopefully soon we can test that…
Let me know when you do Hannah! THe Submit-It Nag is pulling for you.
Getting rejected is better than:
* Being a closet writer.
* Pretending you don’t really care.
* Not doing anything at all.
* Giving up.
*Changing careers only to hit the wall in the new one.
Thanks for this Pam. I 100% support more women writer/submitters and wish all of you would listen up!
*pretending you don’t really care — my fave above. Thanks Robert!
HI Pam! I’m a fellow crusader. One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to submit, submit, submit. Thanks for reminding me that although some things may be unpleasant, there are worse things to fear.
Ain’t it the truth. And, we all need reminding now and then, eh? Hoping to spread the word. Thinking the Submit-it Nag will reappear.
Robert is right – pretending you don’t care is definitely worse. Rejection is also better than making up excuses for not submitting.
Oh, and don’t we like to make excuses.
Yay, Pam! Thanks for encouraging women writers to get their work out there! I used to have a fear of rejection, but I started thinking of each rejection as bringing me one step closer to publication. A thick skin is a necessary tool for any writer, and I have gotten to the point where the rejections don’t even sting anymore. I’m just happy to get a response! The more I submit, the more I learn about the process, and I have consistently gotten better at selecting the right magazines for my work and realistically evaluating the quality of my work. Keep up the nagging!
Not sure I’m where you are yet, “..rejections don’t even sting anymore,” but I’m getting there. And thanks, the nagging will not stop.
Getting rejected is better than…
…getting stuck in hard labor for 13 hours (because baby is all tied up in his cord), then having a repeat c-section.
…having your back go out. Really, really out.
…cleaning up after a sick dog after you’ve fed her some turkey stew that did not agree with her digestive system…for three days.
Hey! That does put things in perspective. I hadn’t really thought about rejection that way. I had been thinking about Stephen King’s wall of rejections (was it him?). I thought about useful (real critique that I could use to better my writing) versus not useful (personal commentary or no commentary). Still, I’ve held onto a lot of fear. Thinking about rejection in terms of what is really worse makes a big difference.
Thank you!
You are very welcome Sonia – and thanks for the great adds!
This came at an appropriate time for me. Have been applying for jobs for almost three months, and the ONLY responses I’ve gotten are “no, thank you, we found someone more qualified” IF I get a response at all. This is the first time in my career I’ve faced this.
I really need to depersonalize it and keep on keeping on. Thank you for the advice.
Good luck in your search — my young adult sons have been on the job-hunt too and I’m particularly troubled by your comment, “IF I get a response at all…” I’ve been thinking alot about the lack of civility in the job market — perhaps another blog post for another day. But, yes, seek to depersonalize and redouble your efforts. You will find a job. Believe it.
Thanks, Pam, for the encouragement here. This raises issues about the confidence factor. Men seem in general to have more of it. I’m not as dogged sometimes as I could be, and I think the confidence factor comes into play here. But I did get a state arts fellowship a few years back on the TENTH try. So, yes, keep submitting!
The Confidence Factor, or lack there-of ….. I feel another blog post coming from the Submit-it Nag. Congrats on your state arts fellowship — perseverance paid off, eh? Good for you!
Great post. Thank you. I guess it’s no excuses time.
Another blog title for the Submit-it Nag, “No Excuses Time.”
Hi Pam,
I’m a fellow crusader, and now I’m following your blog.
Hmmm, Getting rejected is better than:
*** cleaning up after a German shepherd who had the runs on the carpet
*** having your manuscript collect dust, unread, in the back of the closet
*** walking around a mall all day thinking everyone is staring at your lovely new belt, then realizing your fly is down and you forgot to wear drawers
Thanks Tina – those are hysterical!
HI Pam, SO… I saw your name on the Crusader list which is LONNNNNGGGG but your name caught my eye because you have your name listed under ‘literary fiction’ which I should have put mine under and I thought I would enjoy checking out your blog! But you are going to go to the blog I just followed you with and you are going to wonder who I am, what am I talking about, etc. My wordpress blog is a personal blog but was the only way to follow you as I am not “Networked” and I do have WordPress so that was easy enough. My Crusader blog is http://conch-to-be.blogspot.com/ I look forward to getting to “know” you! ~Danette
Thanks Danette – I’ll check yours out too – psyched for the crusade!
Hi Pam,
I’m new to your blog via Andrew Jack’s Writing Blog.
Rejection letters are not a writer’s favorite part of the “job”. I’ve read the articles about using rejection to strengthen your writing, to move forward, to build stepping stones in your career, etc.
After receiving rejection letters, I took a good hard look at my manuscript and reworked it before sending out more query letters. After more rejection letters, I reworked the query letter. With each rejection, I improved my writing and eventually my manuscript improved (with help of many critiques) until rejection letters meant only that I had not found the right representative to publish my novel.
To me, rejection letters are better than:
1. Waking up late and missing a vacation flight.
2. Running out of coffee … anytime.
3. Misplacing my cell phone for two days.
Many thanks Gail – and thanks for helping me reconsider the when to re-evaluate question….. another blog entry coming.
You know – those are really good points. I love the title “submit-it nag”. Hello from a fellow crusader, and thanks for this message.
My son is an artist and I’ve asked him to draw me a Submit-it Nag — She’ll be back.
Hello fellow crusader! Great post. I need to pass this on!
Thanks Janina – I expect the Submit-it Nag to return.
Getting rejected is better than a root canal, better than my kids getting injured, better than hiking 50 miles, but it still sucks.
Margo – fellow crusader and new follower of your blog.
I agree!!!
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